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Sorry to hear about your losses, injury, and rough experience. Glad it wasn't any worse.
The only time we had a flip, other than landing in the surf, was early on in our kayak experience. It was our first trip using trolling motors and 60lb marine batteries, Julie flipped near the Southern reserve buoy markers at La Jolla. I was just a little in front of her, turned my head back, and she was gone. Well, actually, she was clinging to a buoy with her yak next to her. We hadn't practiced this event. But, when I got to her, I could tell she was freaked, too, like your wife. I jumped off my yak, and she boarded it fairly easy. And even though her Fish 'N Dive had the battery, motor, rods, bait tank, gaff, etc. I was lucky enough to flip it back on the first try, and boarded it. I don't believe we lost anything. But, we still called it a day.
In hind-sight, and for future kayakers of the world, we'd definitely recommend a no gear day where you intentionally flip your yak and practice what is necessary to save the situation. It would lessen any fear in an actual flipping.
Congratulations on your recent marriage. It sounds like you have a trooper, and future kayak partner, there. May you experiences ahead be wonderful like ours.
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"Never say die"
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